Glance

I looked at you
Look at me
And for that very moment
We both could see

What it was like
In the other’s eyes
Halfway drunk
Sorta hypnotized

Your eyes were flushed
Washed out from the current
But they swam to me
In that very moment

Unable to move
I just watched your eyes
Drown in me
Then float on by

Trigger

His eyes are the trigger
each glare holds her captive
The stare is mysterious
A sense of man with a touch of power
It is this she finds most intriguing

His movements are concise
sharp and crisp like the clothes he wears
A smile knows not his face
yet is hidden under his skin

A clichéd bad boy
She feels drawn
compelled to wonder
longing to touch
Curiously

He draws her near
and she is swept
Clean are the fantasies she once craved
His lips touch hers
and the deal is sealed

The trigger was finally pulled

As She

As she’s writing the words you’re reading
She pauses ...

breaching her thoughts

the slight chasm makes her laugh

she realizes

she’s feeling into the words
falling into the feelings
she fell into-
because of you

and while you are reading
the words she was writing
you’re feeling unchanged

her pen set back in motion
your eyes continue to roam
across the sheet

to this line.

reading the feelings
of
falling
into

you

Dangled

She wears me around her neck
….Rarely ever taken off
I think sometimes I’m used as a safeguard
Clutched when in fear,
sorrow,
despair.

Sometimes when she can’t sleep at night
Her eyes close tightly and she prays
Kissing the tarnished casing – she whispers my name
Almost reciting it as though if she stops -she’ll forget

oh mom, mom, mom- why did you have to go


Locked inside a heart
A black and white picture dated years before her time
A mother she never knew yet knows so well

How I wish she would stop
Her sadness travels so much further than her words
Looking down upon my daughter looking up at me
Her tears now swimming in my initials etched in her golden covered heart

I’m drowning in her pain
But she doesn’t even know I’m there

To her I’m dead
To her she’s alone

But I’m watching-
listening-
feeling everything she feels.
Wrapped around her neck- clutched inside her hand
I try my best to take away her pain

Soon she’ll fall asleep
Be swept away in a cascade of dreams.

And for as long as she keeps me close to her heart
Together we shall always be.
Wrapped around her neck-
There I’ll remain.
Dangled forever in her life.

Funny Valentine

  
     Tiny bursts of laughter
succeeding the aromas of his fingers
       massaging
            my face
my body lingers within his kiss
my heart searching through pages of the past
coming alive in the present
fighting the pleats of preceding tears
Frankie’s You Go To My Head plays in milieu
               And then I know
                          too good to be true
                          for an average girl like me
But in that moment
That evening
        I was his Funny Valentine
                And he sang to me
I held on to the tremor of his final note
     the quaver of the last kiss goodnight
but as his fingers retreated from my skin
his scent                          lingering still
we craved for more of what neither of us knew
           gazed in each others eyes and smiled
    The tiny burst of laughter
succeeding the aroma’s of his fingers
    pushing me away
                                      for good.

Judgement

People try to read me
Like I’m some sort of book
Stare deep into my eyes
Contemplating each look
Let me forewarn you
I’m more then meets the eye
It’s hard to make a judgment
When there’s so little to imply
I will never let on
The woman that’s within
You get what you see
But I’m thicker than my skin
So don’t try to define me
There’s no need to obsess
You get what I give
And I’ve given much less

Dear Santa

It's been years since my last letter
Years since I last believed
But even though I've grown and strayed
I'll be waiting for you this Christmas Eve

I'm not sure where else to turn
So I hope this letter finds you quick
For I'm child in need of her mother
Asking for a miracle from Old Saint Nick

I know the thought is far fetched
And I'm crazy to be so naïve
But I pray that somewhere, somehow
There's a spark of truth in make believe

So here is goes nothing, Dear Santa,
The holidays are upon us once more
This time of year holds special meaning
For it's the season my mother most adored

I remember waking up Christmas mornings
In Santa pajamas she given the night before
My mom couldn't wait to get me out of bed
I just can't believe she won't be there anymore

She made everything so special
There was never a year I went without
Our house was filled with presents and love
She was what Christmas is all about

My wish this year is pretty straightforward
I'm not strong enough to get through it alone
So my Christmas plea is for one more day
Dear Santa, please bring my mother home

I'll play her favorite Little Drummer Boy
And hang her ornaments on the tree
I'll say my prayers and hope you hear
How much I need her home with me

I know it's hard to wrap a miracle
But my heart will surely be in awe
To come downstairs Christmas Eve
And see Mommy kissing Santa Clause

Until that day, my fingers will be crossed
Praying for a miracle unlike any other
I know it's an awful lot to ask
But Santa, please bring me back my mother

RIP Mom, Sweet Dreams

My mother was a fighter...the strongest yet most tender person i'll ever come to know. Her death has impacted my life in ways noone will ever understand, but her life has impacted people's lives in ways they'll never ever forget.

I love you Ma... you're safe now.
12/22/49 - 5/8/07


You held my hand in yours
And whispered I'll miss you so
Your hands were cold and gentle
A touch I'll eternally know

Your body so slim and fragile
Drained of spirit and drive
Jennifer, help me please
I don't want to be alive

I wanted badly to make it stop
Take the pain and melt it away
But all I could do was massage your aches
And say, soon Mom it will be okay

Your eyes had met with mine
As tears began to form
I'm sorry it had to come to this
I don't know where it all went wrong

Your face remained so exquisite
Through illness your beauty still showed
Your tired eyes were still so vivid
Taking in the world letting you go

I looked at you looking at me
And smiled at the woman I saw
Memories flashed from years that passed
Recollections that left me in awe

Will you be strong enough, Jennifer?
Are you sure you'll you be okay?
I'll be just fine, Mom
I'll have you with me everyday

I love you, Jennifer
Mom, I love you too
You've made me so very proud
Not as proud as I am of you

A brush of fresh air came through the window
The harmony of jazz blanketed the room
You laid on your side gazing out the window
Looked up to heaven and smiled on cue

Close your eyes now Mom,
Get some sleep- put your mind at ease
Good night Jennifer, I love you so
I love you too Mom, and sweet, sweet dreams.